Tuesday, March 23, 2010

how i filter out queens on A4A

This is an actual conversation from my adam4adam account.

I actaully want some feedback on this. He was obviously twinkish and queeny. I wouldnt hit that with the torch of gondor.

Bitchboy: so u gonna tell me what an androphiliac is? Lol

me: google is good isnt it.

Bitchboy: oh... i guess so is there a reason ur bein kinda mean to me?

me: the fact that you think direct answers is being mean is why im not talking to you. there is a difference.

Bitchboy: well i ask because while yes i can go and just google it i would rather just ask u as a reason to talk to u i was using it a topic starter because i really want to talk to u and get to know u but im kinda shy and dont really know how to start conversations with guys that im interested in so i guess im sorry

me: why dont you google it, find out what androphilia and what true masculinity means cuz those are the things i am more interested in than someone who is too scared to say hey bro how is life. Im not going to coddle you and let you not grow as a person, Im a person who likes to be challenged and challenges other people. My challenge to you is to grow a pair and find out the information that is new and then realize what common ground would be and THEN talk to me if your truly interested. Otherwise all this is idle bullshit conversation, and i have better things to do with my life.

Now this conversation is what someone who refuses to leave me the fuck alone gets back from me.

If someone is kinda cool then asks this is the answer someone gets from me.

coolgay: androphiliac is an interesting word to use, why not just gay or bi? Any particular reason?

me: both have a response that is not what i prefer to be associated with. When you think of gay you dont think guys who like guys, you think west hollywood, kathy griffen and lady gaga fans, you think of rainbow flag waivers and men who 'had to get in trouch with their feminine side' and put massive amounts of worth in putting themselves in gay ghettos. I prefer to not be associated with any of those things when referring to myself.

IF someone comes to me knowing what the word means in a real sense then im more inclined to pretend they know what it means.

So seriously, was i too hard on bitchboy?


Anonymous said...

And you wonder why you've been fucked only six times in 90-days?

Try to be nice to ppl online... what harm would that do? We are online to meet ppl and have fun not tear apart ppl who are too shy to meet ppl in the real world. I am sure you have made that poor kid feel even worse about himself.

I am always nice to ppl online - even if I am not interested in them. It makes them feel better that a hot guy is talking to them.

Just remember, karma's a bitch

Anonymous said...

Anyone with a modicum of education would know what the word meant (its greek for lover of men). So I'd hold out for a cultured guy - don't even give them a hint how to find out what it means.

Skippy said...

I have 0 interest in random fucks. I tend to fuck friends or people im gonna wanna hang with afterward. I hate the gay preoccupation with fucking then kicking people outta their bed, house and life. Not my style. I dont wonder why i have had only 16 different partners this year, for me thats not very high but i am still in regular contact, joke and work out with those people.

Im not going to string people who have no interest in finding out what a word means, If i do actually encounter a profile that uses a term im not familiar with, Google remedies that situation very fast. That shows something called drive, and many people have no drive and expect everything to be handed to them. we all do it but my goal is to stop enabiling these people from seeking out new knowledge or new skills, and that goes for everyone from street bum to trick on a4a

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you are pretty rude. The kid is just trying to make it in this world and you missed an opportunity to teach someone something. In the future, just delete the message rather than respond with the tone you did. With the kind of responses you give, you are no better than a bitchy "west hollywood, kathy griffen and lady gaga fan."

In the meantime, check yourself.

Anonymous said...

Wow you're really self loathing.

Skippy said...

how am i self loathing?

Papa Tony said...

Just like everybody else here, I have dealt with the same problem. Your post gives a strong sense that you feel no kinship with "those" kind of people… Whoever they are. Everybody has their own list of what is undesirable.
What is usually underneath is a lack of trust. Trust that you'll be accepted, found desirable, considered to be worthy of respect. If you count on others to supply respect but give none in return, it leads to a lonely life.
If somebody is young, inexperienced and awkward, it's never, ever intentional. They are coping with a crazy world, the same as any of us. His question was meant to be "Social Grease"... to initiate a conversation. He didn't know of a better way, so he was hoping to be interesting and vivacious.
You made a choice to express contempt/anger that didn't belong to him, personally. You didn't see him as HIM (an actual, unique individual), you saw him a a stereotype to be treated shabbily.
So, rather than merely making you wrong in return, how about I teach you a simple, easy way to be super-popular and loved wherever you go?
Look at everyone around you as if they were your favorite blood relative - Say, as your favorite sister, instead of as the drab, beaten-down checker at the local supermarket. If you treat that checker royally, worthy of respect and friendship, then you'll find that life is a lot better for you, as well as others.
I used to have the exact same Attitude with a Capital A, and I was miserable because I didn't trust anyone around me. I had perfectly good reasons (lots of them) to be cynical and to engage in Toilet Talk. However. I was shitting all over the landscape and never cleaning up after myself, and my circle of friends got smaller and smaller.
Ever since I decided to live of a life contributing Good Karma versus Bad Karma to the world around me, my life turned WAY around. I can honestly say that I am probably the most popular person that I know - We got an insanely low refinance rate on our house (allowing us to get a $90,000 remodeling without paying more than before, per month), simply because the folks at the bank all know me as that sweet man who always treats the tellers and managers as of they were my very favorite people in the world. They went waaaay out of their way to express their affection for us.
In terms of online cruising, EVERYBODY (no matter who) is a bruised mess of nerves and insecurity. It's the easiest thing to shit on somebody's delicate sensibilities and have zero responsibility, which seems tempting, since it's the path of least resistance.
Forgive people for being imperfect, insecure and a real mess sometimes. We've all been there, and that makes us all brothers.

Skippy said...

I think i forgot to tell a major part of this story. WE HAD TALKED BEFORE. we had absolutely nothing in common, he would rather live that stereotype that i hate. This was not our first time talking, and i never would treat a first time contact that way. Someone who i talk to and find that there is nothing in common and i stop talking who is unable to learn that we have nothing in common and thats not going to change because we are different people on different paths cross a line in my mind. So my question still remains, as someone i had conversed with before was i rude. And everyone here keeps saying the same thing, be nice to everyone. Which is fine, in public i am a respectful individual however when it comes to the people im going to call friends (remember, i dont do random hookups just for the sake of fucking) are going to need to take personal responsibility. If a person is unable to google to find a word i use as heavaliy is in my A4A profile then id say its about time to remind them that they need to be responsible

Papa Tony said...

I'm sorry - I can see that I wasted my time here. I've been subscribed to your RSS feed because hey - I'm all about lusty sex. However, after now reviewing the previous posts, I can see that ypu're waaaay too invested in active, ongoing and unfocused hostility.
Nobody likes to be around that. Therapy, dude. It worked for me, it can work for you. In the future, if you're pissed off at everybody around you because they are all assholes, maybe you'll suddenly realize what they all have in common - You… angry, angry you.

Skippy said...

active unfocused hostility. Please provide examples or are you like a typical person make a judgment without proper proof. Please explain to me my unfocused hostility? Please explain to me how not liking to be around memebers of the gay party is me having hostility? If you read through my past posts please tell me how i have unrestrained hostility. As far as i can tell the only hostility i have has been lazer focused on people who work to fit the gay stereotype. Please let me know. I am not a fan of unrestrained anger as it is draining and i refuse to have it as part of my life. But if you have concrete examples of that on here please point them out to me. I beleive in standing up for myself, but that is not the same thing as being unrestrained, unfocused hostility.

Papa Tony said...

Without clicking away to any other page:

"20 y/o Maine Halfsie (joined but was medically not allowed to finish boot) who is wayyyyyy to interested in politics and has too much fun starting arguments and putting people in their place. either on their back or at my feet"

"My ex is a fucking cunt"

"Queeny Fucks…."

"how i filter out queens on A4A"

These are not the words of a centered, kind, generous, playful, light-hearted, frisky and pleasant soul. It doesn't mean you're a bad man, it's just a cry for help, and I'm giving you some honest feedback. Use me as a dedicated mirror to notice that something is off-balance.

I read your story of your past, and I'm not here to poke at the sore spots. My youngest foster-son has a very similar past, and I raised him out of it, so that he could be fully functional. It took years to establish meaningful trust with him. He's fine now, and has been for years.

I don't have the exact same story to tell about myself, but I experienced massive physical and emotional abuse as a child. My message to you is the same one that I taught my son - Having a bad beginning doesn't mean that the rest of your life will always be the same story, repeated over and over. It's 100% possible to rise beyond the worst beginnings and be a good man of the community. That's my honest wish for you.

Skippy said...

queeny fucks and how i filter queens on a4a... please explain how that is violent. Do you know how my generation speaks?

My ex IS a fucking cunt. The way she used my son against me until his death this week was something that no one can ever say is something a well adjusted person would do. Well adjusted people get angry. Well adjusted people also understand these things. Did you read those posts or did you just read the names of those posts? That profile was written for my political blog, and i do enjoy political arguments becuause most people base their political beliefs on hyperbole without an idea of what the free lunch will do to people elsewhere.

You know what you want to see in me. You never read the posts about overcoming odds becuase they have not been written yet. You make a judgment based on my 'hostility' but that hostility is based on the way my generation speaks.

i dont know if your around 20 year olds who live in southern california but we cuss, we refer to people as qeeney fucks if they dont stand up for themselves against people who would do them harm.

I think much like vizzini in The Princess Bride does not know what inconcieveable means, i dont think you know what hostility means. I do not wish harm on anyone (except my ex, but that is a fresh wound and i am working through it). I disagree with people and choose to not be around them, and after they wont leave me alone i get on here and vent.

Hostility is having someone waive a gun at you. Hostility is having people threaten your life. Hostility is having friends come home from combat zones, having body parts cut off becasue of people who are hostile to your way of life.

My 'unrestrained hostility' is mearly standard anger being vented off in a constructive way with people who understand my thinking. you obviously do not, but why should i fight you. According to you im already a hostile kid who needs help.

Anonymous said...

I am extremely saddened to hear of your son's passing. I think it's every parents nightmare to outlive their children. Please accept my condolences.
I enjoy observing people and reading a person's online diary is one way of doing that. There are some real dicks out there in cyber space (and in general) and while it is always, to me, easy to be caustic to someone that is being annoying, it's even easier to completely ignore them.
I think folk are being a little hard on you. You cannot know everything at 20! You're young and still growing. You seem very intelligent but you have also been put through the mill in a short space of time so I am sure you have bad days.
I sincerely wish the best for you. You deserve it as much as anyone.

Anonymous said...

Dude, yr reaction to Papa Tony is totally proving his point. He's not coming at you. He's giving you a whole lot of deep wisdom, honestly earned, in an attempt to help you. And rather than considering what he's saying, and being open to accept coaching from qualified people (which he clearly is), you just get defensive, over and over. He's right, you're not a bad person even though you frequently act like a brat (judging from your own writing). All that poor behavior is coming from hurt, from wounds you have that have not healed. But dude, they will never heal without you accepting help, love, and support when it's offered by worthy people (which, again, PT clearly is). And sometimes support means lovingly but honestly pointing out where a friend is off track. Seems obvious that PT is someone you could really learn from, if you'd let yourself. If you grew up into a man like PT, you'd be doing alright. And Papa Tony, if you're reading, your words have helped me so thanks. You sound like a great guy - I wish you all the best.

Skippy said...

as typical with members of the gay party, the reaction is that standing up for yourself is bad. I know what i like, i stand up for myself and stand against people who are too stupid to be responsible for themselves.

where have the men gone? they have had their balls cut off at the feet of political correctness. if people dont like my combative nature. Great, read someone else or hangout somewhere else. My friends are happy with me, and im happy with myself. Thats ALL that fucking matters in this world. Go pass judgement elsewhere