Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Gay first.... person second

gay pride is coming up. And i dont want to go.

Ive been to pride before, and i never feel very prideful. What do i have to be proud of simply for being gay? What have i achieved by being gay other than notches in my belt?
I have pride in being an american, because i still think as americans we are the last line of freedom in this world. Is that way gay pride is supposed to be about, being proud that you use your freedom? If so, i dont understand how men in drag and a giant penis costume should make me feel proud.
Gay pride is a relic. Much like a corded telephone, its a means to an end of a past era. Its a remnant of the gay solidarity movement of the 70's and 80's. but its been 20-30 years since gay solidarity morphed into the Group-think apparatchik i call the gay party.
What as a gay man do i have to be proud of?
Gays can do hair?
The gay solidarity movement of the 70's and early 80's is a group i can look to with respect. These were gay guys who were willing to walk around with steel poles and fight quite violently for their rights to be who they are, and THAT i can be proud of. But im not of that generation. I can have admiration for them, just like i have admiration for the USMC Generals of the previous wars, but i cannot be proud of accomplishments i have not made.
What as a gay man do i have to be proud of?
What has the gay solidarity movement become? A group of men in leather carying steel pipes to bash in the heads of cops who would arrest them to the GLSEN bitching about using the term gay as stupid? REALLY? This is what the Gay Party is giving me and my generation to be proud of. Whining about slang. In highschool i had the word FAG carved into my locker in the locker room. Did i go bitch and complain to anyone? HELL NO. I broke the motherfuckers rib and got suspended for a week. But no one EVER thought of fucking with me again.
I guess as a gay man i can be proud i stood up for myself. But instead of being proud as a gay man, i choose to be proud as a MAN.

I ask you, people who are tired of being hyphenated americans to stand up and say I AM MAN FIRST, GAY/BISEXUAL/WHITE/BLACK/MEXICAN/QUEER/WHATEVER SECOND. I do not identify with those who claim to fight on my behalf. I dont live in that world. Gay marriage isnt going to help me put food on my table, find a job or do any of that. And quite honestly, im not the type that would ever marry. If i did get that far in a relationship with a dude and decided that him and no others ever then thats between me and him. We can figure out legal ways around the system, and there are many. Power of attorney, making them legal dependents. Whatever we have to do we can figure something out to make it work.
That makes a man, the ability to judge someone based on who they are not what they are. Judge a man by what he does not who he does.
The men and women of the age of stonewall have my upmost respect and deepest gratitude. Unfortunately you left the ship in the hands of morons, hopefully a course correction can be done soon before the ship sinks up its own indignant asshole


Anonymous said...

Amen. Though prepared to be called homophobe and whatnot by people who prescribe that something as trivial as sexuality gives them the right to bitch about how much the world is unfair to themselves. The only thing that will fight bigotry is education, but they only promote the self-serving kind that detracts from objective learning of everyone else. Up and coming gay kids should be able to feel like they're normal, not victims, not anything to be ashamed of being.

Anonymous said...

The word 'pride' in a political context means "fuck you if you think I should be ashamed." No, being gay is nothing to be proud of in the sense that you're proud of an actual accomplishment; it's a political term.

This may be confusing to you, since you don't remember back when MOST PEOPLE thought gay people should be ashamed; I was an activist in the 70s and 80s, and I remember when wearing a pink triangle button could get you beaten up. So 'pride' means something different to me.

Skippy said...

well in that context then there should be male pride, white pride and redneck pride since those groups are constantly denegrated in popular culture.

Also i dont remember those times cuz i cant remember from before i was born. my earliest memories are of my dad getting deployed to iraq during desert storm and the pain that caused my mom. My entire life its been pretty much ok to be gay (i didnt really pay attention till around 03 when i started to question my sexuality). And its always been one of those you keep it quiet its not an issue in my life, so yes i dont understand that.

And you proved my point, being gay is simply a state of being, and pretty much everyone is ok with it these days. Pride is a relic of a time in the 70's and 80's before the gay solidarity movement became the gay party we know today.

Anonymous said...

'White Pride' is bullshit. White people are the dominant group in society. No one ever grows up ashamed of being white. 'White Pride' is just a declaration of racism.

The rest of what you say is understandable. I don't agree, of course, but that's at least partly generational. And it was a gay RIGHTS movement. We still don't quite have equal rights (equal marriage is the biggest issue right now), but yes: things are a lot better.

Skippy said...

how is white pride bullshit. Have you ever been the one white kid in a latino school? Try finding out what its like to be the one kid who doesnt know spanish. I can tell you right now white pride would be kinda important to him in that case.

Gay marriage will never work because marriage is a social structure that gay men and women simply do not fit into. The love is there, but i can tell you right now even lesbians admit monogamy isnt for them. Monogamy is a big part of marriage, which is why its a big deal when its broken. In gay relationships monogamy is the exception, not the rule.

If people wanted to fight for the legal rights of marriage but accepted civil union instead of the word marriage i can guarentee it would be legal in all 50 states. However its the term marriage the gay party is after, not the rights and protections. And the worst part is, instead of finding a structure that would truly seperate gay culture and make it something someone could be proud to say 'im gay, i stand up for myself' the gay party decided to be lazy, switch a bride for another man on a wedding cake and call that dodge. Its lazy, culturally insulting and yet oddly fitting that thats what the gay party would give out.