Mindtrip is a massive gift in my life. He keeps me honest to myself and the standards to which we both hold ourselves. His take no prisoners "i dont give a flying fuck how you feel about this cuz i care and you need to fucking chill" mentally knocks me on my ass but it makes me think, and most of the time i know hes right. There is a respect between us, not a respect that has been given, but one that has been earned. Through work, sweat, and sometimes tears (maybe a lil blood here and then between friends), we have forged a pretty good friendship and i know i can hit hum up about anything. Ive earned that.
Mindtrip also called me on something last night, and its been burning my brain since. He said i was expecting to be given certianty while being uncertian myself. His honesty reminded me of one of the Marine Corps credos, Something Given Has No Value. Everything i had i earned. Now it seems i am expecting to be given something without any real earning process... and thats unacceptable.
A boy does not get a collar, he earns it from his sir. Thats what i must do, i cannot expect other people to give me what i am not willing to earn. If im not willing to earn it, then i do not deserve it.