Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The shit of my life makes great fertilizer to grow

so i know ive been kinda not writing long posts recently. A combination of midterms, hangovers and my mother insisting since its April we finally take down the last of the Christmas stuff has kept me busy.

Ive been keepin my eye out there alot, ive been watching things and im not a big fan of people right now. Ive also been doing some reasearch into masculinity and why im attracted to masculine guys. What is it about guys being guys that gives me a hardon? Im still at step 1 of analysis, reasearch. Ive been going through combing the county library for books about the cultural constructs of masculinity and why they are important.

another thing ive been doing alot of is constructionish work. Ive been replacing all the doors at my dads house, cuz he wanted some new slab doors. I know all of you hate my dad, but hes bankrolling my existence since im one of the 30 million unemployed people looking for work, and unemployment is at 25% in this valley, so im beginning to look for work elsewhere.

I had a quick hookup the other day, met a guy of A4a and he bred my hole. Not a noteworthy fuck but it felt good to get some seed in my guts. Funniest most because i found out he owns the local racing company... which is always fun!

but through all of this i had a strange realization, people who go through what i go through normally dont come out the other side stable, or not addicted to drugs. Everyone i talk to in groups tells me they dont know how i did it without escaping to drugs, which i guess means im stronger than i was. As a girl yesterday said, the shit of our lives is great fertilizer to grow.


Bi Slut in big D said...

Hey man,

I enjoy your posts. I wanted to say you and I share a similar history. We should email sometime and chat. I'm quite a way into dealing with the nightmare that was my childhood, raped repeated from 2 1/2 to 17, became a sex addict as compensation.

Let's chat sometime.

Anonymous said...

I do hate your dad, but I'm all for your using him as much as possible. If he gave you every penny he has, and every penny he earns for the rest of his life, it would be no more than he owes you.